you've got to dance, little liar...

I woke up yesterday morning to the distinctly unwelcome sounds of John Prescott holding forth on climate change. I have an unpleasant feeling that he watched Al Gore on "An Inconvenient Truth" and had the dawning realisation that washed-up deputies do sometimes have the chance to completely relaunch themselves and to restore their reputations with the public. Instead of finding his own topic, it appears that Prescott decided that the simplest thing to do would be to nick Gore's idea and bang on about the environment. Who knows, perhaps it could make him credible again. Relevant. Cool, even.

To be honest, I can't really remember what he said. Frankly I was too astonished. This is a man who, more than any other, symbolises the fall of the Labour Party: he's a former ship's steward and trade union activist. His presence in Blair's front bench personified the link between old Labour's working class roots and New Labour's modernising middle classes represented by the likes of Tony Blair. Unfortunately he was apparently unable to keep his hand out of the cookie jar, his fist to himself or his dick in his trousers. To hear John "two jags" Prescott lecturing me on climate change was quite a difficult pill to swallow.... particularly as he seemed to be trying to lay claim to founding the whole movement, banging on about how he swam up the Thames to present some sort of petition to Thatcher. Very impressive, but given that, since then, this man has used his official car to travel a few hundred yards down the road, it's not really very credible. He went on to say how he abhorred violence and cautioned the Climate Camp protestors not to go down that road. Right, advice on non-violence from a man who once punched out a guy who threw an egg at him. Spare us. And whilst you're at it, you might like to modify your tone of smug self-righteousness too.

Whilst he's busy reinventing himself, we learn that Prescott has apparently also become something of a web 2.0 icon, although he admits that he sometimes dictates his Tweets.... because, y'know, 140 characters is a bit of a chore. I'm sure there's lots more to the new John Prescott, but frankly I've long since stopped caring enough to find out.

Do these people think we're stupid? Do they think that just because they say something with authority, it makes them authoritative? Do they think that we've all got the memory of a goldfish and will magically forget all of their past indiscretions as they speak, mesmerised by the magic in their voices? Of course they do. Of course they think we're stupid. Perhaps we are stupid. Why else would we give these people, who long ago sold their principles and their ideals down the river in the pursuit of power, a chance to wake me up in the morning with their fatuous waffle and insincere bandwagon jumping bullshit.