it's not enough, just a touch....

Long-time readers (or anyone who has perhaps taken it upon themselves to trawl the archives, poor, strange souls) might remember that I've been thinking about getting my eyes zapped for a while. To cut a long story short, I hummed and hawed about it for a bit, got them checked by Optical Express, told I was "out of range", I then received a letter from them about six months later saying that I was back in range, at which point I decided I didn't fancy it. I lasted about a year before I began to think about it again. It was a year in which I had some hypnotherapy to help me get over my obsession with almost invisible scratches on my lenses. That seemed to do some good, but I continued to be in a state of almost daily anguish about the fit of my specs.

Oh, I was fully aware that most of this was in my head and that there was essentially nothing wrong with my glasses... but that didn't stop if bothering me. It wore me out.

A colleague saw me worrying at my glasses one afternoon and asked me if I had thought about laser correction. He recommended a professor of opthalmology who had treated his wife and told me how the operation had completely changed her life. Hmmm. I was undeniably interested, but it was my eyes we were talking about here. If I was going to even contemplate getting this done, why would I not want to seek the guidance of the best person I could find?

I saw him in January this year. The professor was generally very encouraging, but I would need some detailed checks done on my eyes before he decided if it was an option for me and something that he would be prepared to do for me. I wasn't even sure yet if I wanted it done at all. I wasn't going to get excited until I knew if it was sensible.

I had those tests on Friday.

Today the professor's secretary began to sound me out about an appointment in May.

An appointment for a consultation with the professor? To discuss the results?

No. An appointment for the operation.

Um.

Do I not get to talk about what the operation means for my eyes first? To be told what I could expect and what the risks are for someone with my prescription? To think about how long I might need off work? To see if my eyes would have enough time to heal before the wedding in June?

Oh. She's going to ask the professor and get back to me with the answers.

Suddenly it's all a bit real.

Well, actually it's suddenly all a bit sudden.

You know what though? Subject to some reassuring answers*, I think I might just do it too....

*yes, I know that every operation carries a risk.