and I could write a song a hundred miles long...

Right then, competition time kids.

Ever fancied yourself as a songwriter? Ever fancied sitting back in your mansion with your movie star wife as the royalties come rolling in? Of course you have. If Noel Gallagher can do it, how hard can it be?

Here is your challenge:

You may have noticed that all Coldplay songs are basically the same: there's a whole lot of wondering and questioning, things are broken and can't be fixed, puzzles are missing pieces... that kind of thing.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write your own Coldplay song.

As always, there is an excellent prize - the honour of picking the title for a post on this blog.

Here's my entry:

"Things Are a Bit Shit Now (But It'll Be Alright)"

I'd like to play with you-ooo-ooo
Monopoly or Clue-ooo-do
But I cannot get past Go (oh-oh)
And Professor Plum has gone
What's right has now gone wrong.

ooooooh, yeah
ooooooh, yeah

Things are a bit shit now
But it'll be alright
(it'll be alright)

....and so on.

Over to you, and feel free to take the piss as much as you like. For heaven's sake don't spend too long on it, or before you know where you are, you'll be all serious, wearing black and writing slogans on your hand.

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Tomorrow, we draw a line under Glastonbury 2005 with Ben from Silent Words Speak Loudest giving us his Festival Earworms.

Coolio.