With a danish on each ear and Darth Vader drawing near...

George Lucas has informed the world that "Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith" will not be suitable for children.

The film, of course, charts the fall of Annakin Skywalker and his transformation from a sulky, frowning, petulant brat into a big, wheezy old guy in a shiny black costume with some fantastically chunky 1970s switches on the front.

Apparently the film is likely to get a PG13.

This is good news. By my reckoning, the jedi have got to be pretty significantly slaughtered before we get to Episode IV, so I'd be disappointed if there wasn't going to be some major asskicking going on.... I'm not expecting blood (I've always seen the lightsabre as a very carpet-friendly weapon in that regard), but I am expecting to see those self-righteous, all-knowing smart-alecs getting a right good shoe-ing by the darkside.

As the film isn't being targetted at kids, does this mean that we won't see an obscene merchandising push to support the launch of the film? (a trend started, lest we forget, by the the original Star Wars film)

Will it mean that you won't be able to get a Mc-Skywalker or a Mc-R2D2 with your Happy Meal?

That you won't be able to buy a little plastic figure of Ewan McGregor in Toys R Us?

That you won't be able to purchase that essential Jar-Jar Binks Yo-Yo?

Somehow I seriously doubt it.

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and yes Des, I know that lots of so-called adults buy these things too

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and yes, OK, I do have a Darth Maul double-bladed lightsabre at home. What of it?

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Stop looking at me like that.

I am not a geek.

One lightsabre does not a geek make....

Does it?