he was white as a sheet and he also had false teeth

The first of the Da Vinci Code debates took place in Genoa last night and was apparently packed to the rafters.

"This book is a sack of lies against the Church, against the real history of Christianity and against Christ himself" said Cardinal Bertone, the Vatican flunky appointed to head up the counter-offensive.

If the book is so offensive to the Church, why have the Vatican waited for so long before hitting back? It's been in the bestseller charts for months....

I've given this a bit of thought: the Pope's had a bit of time on his hands lately, so I reckon that the Polish speaking-book edition has just been published (no doubt read by Martin Jarvis).... Picture the scene: His Holiness is in his hospital bed, recovering. He opens his eyes, and they light upon his loyal aides waiting to answer his every need, to cater to his every whim...

"Un peu de miel. Une Fleur.... Le Da Vinci Code...."

What next? The FBI against the creator of the X-Files for the propagation of the LIES that the US Government is in cahoots with alien races? Or is their silence on the subject significant?

Ridiculous.